Traffic rules!!! - Bangalore style

All of us would have got ourselves stuck in the midst of Bangalore's horrendous traffic at one point or the other. And at these times, we would more often than not rave and rant that this city has gone to the dogs. (Well, if its not the dogs (menace), then its the rains (or the lack of it) or the moral briagde or.... this would just end up being another rant).

But being in the passenger seat (despite having a license, I am yet to muster the courage to commandeer my own car), I have come across some situations in the potboiler we call traffic that are worth a few laughs. Take for instance, this one time, I took out a friend's bike with my daughter standing on the footboard and my husband riding pillion. To start with we were a sight, it was like David taking Goliath out for a bike ride with the neighbour's kid just piling on. We just crossed a signal and I had a cop jump out in front of me. He took one look at our baby, drew the conclusion that I was her mother and before I could take of my helmet, asked me to carry on. While doing so, he smiles widely saying that he thought I was the kid. For the sake of formality he asked if I did have a license, I said I did and he took it for face value.

So many times when we are driving you will find pedestrians choose to cross the road just when you decide to accelerate a bit. And out comes that hand to indicate that you should slow down. Sudhakar was so fed up of this happening, that one day when a not so gentlemanly gentleman stuck out his hand, Sudhakar did the same. It got the guy so confused for a second, that he stood rooted to the spot. Then he took it that Sudhakar was waving at him and with child like enthusiasm waved back. So much for tit for tat.

There is a little dance routine that the night beat cops do. Especially on a Saturday night (they would not want to miss out on partying now would they). Picture this, a cop standing in the middle of the road, stops your car, asks you to roll down the window, then glides in sideways and asks you "Nim hesaru heli.. tell me your name." You do, he determines that your breath has only the remnants of lunch on it and shimmies out the same way only to repeat the step with the next car he sees. A little drum roll there and he could even end the dance with a split. I pity these guys though, the kind of breaths they have to smell. Whither the breath analyzer?

Yet another funny one to wrap this post. We were driving one day and this car moves in from the side to the front of us... As he was doing so, the driver stuck his hand out and was giving the sign you give someone when their bike headlights are on in the day time. It took a few seconds to register since there were only cars around. HIS tail light was non-existent and the driver was using his hand as a tail light substitute!!!!

So how bout it... when in traffic next time, look about for these funny situation. It will help keep you BP in control.

Whither wholesome family entertainment?

Ok am sorry. I have been ignoring my first baby (aka thinking aloud blog) for the "glamour" and fun of my food blog. But that doesn't mean I have totally forsaken it. The fact that I am writing this with the mother-of-all-colds at 11.30 at night stands testimony to this fact.

I have this deal with Anoushka - its called the my TV time and your TV time. Early evenings is when she is allowed to watch cartoons and a little later - 8 pm onwards is when I watch my TV. I don't cut into her time and she knows not to cut into mine. I largely watch serials on Star World and AXN. Of this what I really enjoy are the family based serials on Star World - My Wife and Kids, Everybody loves Raymond, Two and Half Men, Hope and Faith, According to Jim and many more.

What I truly love about these serials is how in a span of half hour they present a situation that is so common in family life. There is always a solution shown to a everyday problem and all of this is done with a dash of humour. These are the same situations that people like me and you face - falling sick and having no one to look after the kids, in laws dropping unexpectedly, a clash of opinions on how to deal with kids, lying to the spouse to get out boring functions, the works.

All of us have encountered one or more this in our lives. Many a times the solution is almost the same we have seen on TV. Why then, we as a nation obsessed with reality TV don't have a single serial that revolves around true family values. All of our prime time soap operas are about evil stepmothers, even scarier mothers-in-law, sisters in law who traverse generations to kill your reincarnations and a whole other crock of excrement. Of course the defence has always been that "we have surveyed the audience and we know what they want." But tell me wouldn't you want to see how parents elsewhere deal with the issues of talking to their children of the bees and birds, how a dad has to cope with the mood swings of his PMS teenager, how you deal with kids experimenting with drugs or cigarettes or even the opposite sex, what to tell your spouse who has just been laid off.

These are questions that you can't always go running to the elders for. So if you have a counterpart on TV with a solution that forms part of your daily entertainment, why not? Yes! there are evil, conniving members in every family, but eventually in all families they are found out and they suffer the consequences and it generally happens in one lifetime itself.

What ever happened to the concept of wholesome family entertainment. Whatever hard hitting serials we do have deal with issues like child marriage and is meant to educate the masses that don't have access to cable TV, let alone the DTH luxury. Ironic, if you ask me.

Why bay for gay blood?

Recently there was a gay procession and it hogged the limelight. There seemed to be renewed hope of sorts with parts of the governmental machinary rethinking Section 377 which makes it illegal to have a same sex relationship. Of course, the repealing or reworking of this act, the government says will depend largely on what society says, what the religious community says and "people sentiment."

I wonder, aren't all these factors the reason why this remnant of the Raj is still followed? Scientific studies now show that being gay in not an acquired state but rather it is in the genes. And even if it were not in the genes, what could possibly be the harm in loving someone from the same sex. The way I look at it, it all boils down to an aversion to the concept of physical intimacy between members of the same sex. Because in straight couples, male bonding and female cliques are not frowned upon, yet if they take on sexual overtones, they automatically are frowned upon. Strange!! And another thing - the top male fantasy with straight men is lesbian sex - but the being lesbian is wrong?!! Isn't that a contradiction.

Being queer spreads diseases. Being straight spreads diseases too... Infact they don't have any diseases that are unique to only them. So why all the hulabaloo?

People of religion say that being gay is against God's order for human-kind. If that were so, why is being queer a matter of genes and not a matter of choice? Killing in the name of religion, suppression of women, child labour and most of the world's ills, am pretty sure did not come under God's plan for human-kind, but its there isn't it. And all of these mentioned above spread hatred and revulsion. Being gay is all about loving. What matter if it is someone of the same sex?

The more you restrain the human mind, the more it aims to break free. By categorising people as gay or queer we are automatically creating another class of people, something we already have enough of. What if the world was wired the other way round and it was straight people who were looked down on and who had to fight for their rights to be with each other? What these people are doing is just like us - the lead normal lives, study, work, enjoy lives and more importantly they love - what difference does it make to anyone whom they love?

Just as our sex life is not anyone's business, so is the sex life of those whom we name gay. And in this world of population boom,, wouldn't it be wise to encourage non-reproductive sex that could in turn foster adoptions.

"Auto"cracy or hypocracy

A few days ago, the papers announced that our chief minister has decided not to allow any more licenses to be granted for new autos. And the auto unions have not taken too well to that. They plan to file a petition saying that Bangalore is need of more autos considering the demand. Now that does seem a trifle strange. For people like me who use autos on a regular basis, 9 out of 10, the first auto I approach will not take me where I want to go.

If Bangalore needed more autos, every single auto would be engaged the entire day and people would not be able to find one when they needed it. But the prevailing situation is totally different, you will find people desparately trying to flag down autos when they are right in front of an entire stand of autos, simply because those men either don't want to move their poteriors or its their tea break or its their 'meeting time'.

It doesn't matter that they are standing in front of hospitals where autos are constantly needed. If your home is not where they want to go... then bad for you. Maybe along with clearences from various governmental bodies before the sanctioning of land for homes, we should also seek the local auto stands consent on whether and where they are willing to take residents of that area.

It doesn't matter to this set of the working class that we are standing with little children or old people who can barely stand straight have to wait for ages to find a willing auto. Distances should not be too far or too near. Time of the day should be between their meals, and their snooze routines. And for all this worry, will they take what the meter shows... sure, if they have already tampered with it, there is nothing much you can say other than "I know this is not the right price". If you happen to come out of a mall, it is taken for granted that you have money to throw and costs for reaching you and your heavy grocery bags will double.

Does it ever strike these men, that we EARN our livelihood too. That we too would like to save on unnecessary expenditure. Its not like someone is standing on the road doling out auto money to all of us. When we report to our offices, there is a time limit on even out loo visits, let alone coffee breaks and lunch breaks. Late entries can be penalised, refusal to do our designated work can get us fired. These men don't have to earn their livelihood amidst such tyranny. So WHY!! then can't they do their jobs well. Maybe we should suggest to the union a day of job swapping!!

But as an afterthought, you will find a few diamonds amidst the coal. When I was trying to hail on auto one afternoon with my daughter in tow, nobody was ready to take us to Bannerghata road. An auto just pulled up next to us and before I could tell him where we wanted to go (as is customary), he said, "It doesn't matter, just get in, I will go anywhere." Once in, he told us that he hated the men of his tribe simply because they sat around wasting their time. He said, as an auto driver he considered it his duty to take a passenger where they wanted to go. It is after all what he signed up for. He added that it was men like lazy bones around that spoiled the name of his community. Well said!! wish more of them thought like you.

Wider horizons, narrower perceptions

While everyone is on the topic of racism - "are the attacks in Australia racist in nature or are the Indians asking for it?" "Indians are racist when it comes to foreigners and even their own people - why we consider all the south Indians to be madrasis and the northeast folk to be chinkis" - and so on and so forth. But in the midst of it all, there is another breed of Indians for whom their own country - India is a matter of disdain.

Take an uncle of mine into consideration. Within the family circles he is called Mad Max (Max not being his real name). Now, here was a man who had migrated to the U S of A years before he brought forth the next generation. Being a man of big heart, he always wanted to give back to his country and to his home town of Mangalore. So what did he do... in the early '90s, he used part of his home to set up a book library, a TV with cable connection and DVD player where he wanted to show the 'poor people' of Mangalore what a good book was and that the world now had an invention called TV. And when he spoke of the under-privileged, we his relatives as well fell in the same category. He would talk to us of great inventions such as electricity, piped water, cars on petrol, cell phones and internet, like he was from another planet.

When he was informed that we in Mangalore already owned the contraption and that we also owned cell phones and internet as well as cars and bikes, he was totally taken aback. He could not believe that India had reached such levels of progress. So much so that he continued with his 'give back to society projects'. Well atleast some of the American libraries have found a place to trash their rejects.

Another case to ponder. When I was doing my mass communication masters, we had students from several regions and countries as well. Several NRI kids were part of ours and the junior batch. One girl however caught everyone's eye. It was one thing that her blonde mane heralded her arrival two minutes before her, but it was her accent that had everyone snickering. It was a pseudo-American one, where the drawl was VERY apparent at some points and VERY Indian in the next. After a session of moonshine one evening, she got all nostalgic and said that our Manipal reminded her of the American suburbs. To which, a classmate of mine very innocently asked, which part of the States are you talking about? And the answer - "Oh, I couldn't say, I have never been to the States." !!!!???

Fake accents are part of the game. You will have a college-going student sprout an accent and when you ask her where she got it from, she will proudly say that she went to kindergarten in Libya and that's how she has an American accent. Wonder what geography they were taught there?

What do you say when you come across such people? Going abroad is supposed to widen your horizons. In these cases, it looks like once they touched the horizon, they closed their minds to all else. How much of the world you know comes from how you percieve it. If your mind remains closeted to the Western or rather foreign world, how do you hope to improve yourself or the lives of those around you.

Long ago, I heard a statement which went. Ask any child, which is the greatest country in the world and they will name their own. Ask an Indian child which is the greatest country in the world and 9/10 will say America. We percieve our own country in very low light... not that it does not deserve such ratings, but then its only when we percieve it in the right way can we make a go at improving its ratings.

Holding up educations' torch - Kapil Sibal

And so it happens, that Kapil Sibal feels that the 10^th Std board exam needs to be scrapped and a more lenient system of assessment be introduced. I am appalled at the fact that there are several parents as well as educationalists who feel that this is a bad move. For one, I would like to clarify that Kapil Sibal is talking about the removal of 10^th Std BOARD Exam, and not the exam in itself. He is talking of a more sensitive style of assessment.

It doesn’t take Einstein to know that while the Indian education system is quite advanced, its methodologies are primitive. Take for example, the State board, through which I did my High School. What was taught to me in high school was long over in CBSE board that I had been in during my Higher Primary years. Moreover, the syllabus being taught was also the same one my aunt, who is 14 years older than me had studied. So would you say that the system is flawed? I would think so. The Indian education system is based entirely on studying by rote. The use of thinking, imagination and a practical understanding is never there.

Several educational heads came out in today’s papers saying that if there are no 10 STD board exams, how will we assess a student’s aptitude for the course he is applying to. If admissions were were so aptitude based, why is it that the overall percentage of the student is taken into account. Why not look at only the percentage or percentile (if it comes to be) of that particular subject? And if aptitude were so important, why are there payment seats and management seats where students who have no aptitude to wash dishes too get seats.

And the same goes forward in college too... In the run up to my PUC exams, I was coached separately along with a few others since we were thought to have the potential to bring ranks into the college. And the first thing that was told to us was, don't try to write answers with your own reasoning. Stick to the book as far as possible, that is what will earn you a rank. There is only a certain level with which you can stick to the book, following which you need to use your brain. Needless to say, I did not get a rank.

Another example I would like to cite here is that of my journalism lecturer when I was doing my BA. She was a Masters gold medalist in the subject and she taught the whole thing from the notes that she took down in her college years!!!! We had a college journal to bring out as part of practicals and when a classmate wrote a creative piece which carried a description that said "as beautiful as the Kohinoor", she called my classmate to the staff room and asked her if the Kohinoor was a place in Kerala!!!!!!!! and was very serious about her question.

So was it aptitude that got her the gold medal or the rotten education system that assesses students on the basis of how much they can memorise their textbooks. Very few of the students who rank high in their studies carry with them the expertise to function in society without being spoonfed.

Education should be about preparing your child for the world and not bogging them down with books that carry information, that in all honesty will hardly be of use to them in the future. One teacher in the papers today said that students decide in 10th std what stream they want to follow. I beg to differ, when a student goes to a college with his percentage, his seat is decided based on which subject he has scored higher marks in. Such school administrations are the reasons why students with a aptitude for arts are forced into science simply because they may have scored more in those subjects. Or a student with a penchant for science is denied a seat because his overall percentage was not near the cut off mark simply because he scored lower in the languages.

People wake up... its this very same educational system that has led to parents thinking that the higher the marks, the more intelligent my son...

Back to Basics

I recently bought myself an iPhone. I had the option of buying several other models of phone. But the childish part of me wanted to be associated with the iPhone. And so I bought it, not through the grey market, but rather from an authentic dealer for the real price it is worth. It pinched a lot monetarily, but at the end of the day I had what I wanted.

Call it stupid of me but I did not really research on the features that the iPhone offered. I mean, when you pay a bomb, it expect it to come fully loaded. As I began using it I realised, that a lot of features that my old (and less expensive phone) had were not on this phone. Of course, it did have a lot that my old phone did not. But I started to pine for my old phone or least for one that could fill the void that was created.

A thought then struck me. We move forward in many ways - technology, thought processes, careers, methods of approach to so many social aspects of life. But when you really look at things, you seem the happiest with having just the basics. More often than not, we find people who deal with technological R & D expertise personally using the very simplest of technologies. A 30k phone may earn you brownie points with your peer crowd, but you need to look after it like you would a crystal front tooth. Thats when you pine for its cheaper and more hardier counterpart.

Gourmet cooks who have access to the best of ingredients and foods, almost always prefer dal-chaawal meals. Think of it yourself... you may love eating out, but try doing it for a week in a row and you too will pine for the simplicity of home cooked meal.

When it comes to home made meals - today's home-makers (me included) prefer the convenience of packaged spices... the food does turn out good, but try the same with time tested home made spices and you will learn to appreciate food in a whole new way.

It may be an old point that I scoffed on as a youngster, but there is a ring of truth to the adage - old is gold (as corny as the contrivation seems)

A matter of perception

I have been completely out of touch with the news for a while now. And that is primarily because I got myself addicted to word games on Facebook. Today I had made up my mind to not log in but rather catch up with my back log of reading. The "racist" attacks down under have been hogging the limelight for a while and that was also the subject of my previous entry.

But today, a line in a news article caught my eye. It effectively said that while we knew the number of students of Indian origin who are in Australia as of now, we have no clue as to how many Indians are there to eke out a living or who may have settled down there for generations. Aren't these people also susceptible to these attacks? With our country screaming itself hoarse on brain drain, it is amazing how we don't seem to have a clue as to how many of our people are abroad. While NRIs are berated for taking their knowledge abroad, they are also (and very hypocritically, I must add) hailed for bringing the moolah into the country in terms of investment here and boosting the economy.

While foreigners of Indian origin are hailed as gods for their achievements in aeronautical space and foreign politics, we tend to forget the thousands who are also working behind the scenes in these places. Till today it was an honour to have a child who has studied abroad, all of a sudden we have parents trembling in fear about sending their wards to foreign countries. Do we forget how many students irrespective of status have been victims of ragging, racism, casteism in India? Why would you think any other country does not have its own share?

Taking to the streets in protest is a norm in most countries. But really... how many times have we seen foreigners take to the streets in India just because a member of their community has been attacked. If anything the taking of sides has happened at the governmental level. While our government has called to "express concern", there really has been no substantial ground work done to ensure that Indians are not targetted.

Carrying placards that say "we bring money, we pay taxes and we work for your economy and get stabbed" are ridiculous. How many foreigners come to our country and get looted just because they are of the wrong colour? Just as we get generalised in foreign countries as taxi drivers and curry munchers, so too we have percieved all foreigners to be of loose character and drug pushers.

Its all a matter of perception. And this applicable to all and sundry. Rather than the students, it is the governments who need to put their foot down. Had we been the self-proclaimed saviour of the world USA, we would have pushed our weight around and had a dozen meaningless embargos put on Oz. But considering we are India, we have a very victimised style of handling things.

How about rallying all prospective Indian students heading for Australia together and giving them incentives to stay put till the next intake. Education is amongst Oz's largest exports with India and China being its largest markets. Almost every education specialist based in India on Australia's behalf has been intimated of huge discounts and other means of wooing students. Why don't we try and counter this and express solidarity. Granted many may think that this could harm the student's future. But then, are we ready to send our children to a place where people treat foreigners with the same contempt that we (at least a majority) in India do?

What goes around, comes around

There is a huge hue and cry about the Indian students being assaulted in Australia. Students are now contemplating return, parents are a worried lot and the protest marches are on in full swing. I DO NOT in any way condone what happened to those students. Racial discrimination in any form is truly abhorrent. Students have taken to the street demanding justice. Fair enough, one of their countrymen have been assaulted. But it is surprising to see, that when we as, as a nation get what we dish out, we can't tolerate it. How commonplace are the following situations in India

1) Student ragging, resulting in death or else as painful consequences as what happened in Australia.

2) A 10-minute conversation with any foreign tourist in India will give you truckfulls of information on how they have been harrassed, cheated, taken for a ride, over-charged, groped, stared at and much more.

3) India has got quite a reputation when it comes to thrashing or even murdering foreigners. Goa is a place in consideration.

4) It is sad but true that what the foreign world sees of India is more often than not - the wannabes. Those people who will fall over themselves to be like the foreigners (for what reason, God alone knows) and then who show our country in poor light.

5) India has quite a reputation for brain drain. Has any government tried to reverse this process? Is it any wonder then that we are resented abroad, simply because we are ready to work for a comparitively lesser pay and are ready to go even to the Arctic.

6) Most tourist spots in the world abhor the Indian traveler for he is constantly in a quest to get freebies and discounts, and of course, strip a hotel room when he leaves.

Once again I don't condone what has happened or what continues to happen. Racial discrimination is a blackspot on humanity. But then, in a eerie sort of way - this seems to be a case of what goes around, comes around.   

God - misconceived concept not a reality

I haven't blogged in quite a while. While most of you may think that this was the result of me running out of the blog fizz, the fact is that there has been a lot going on in my personal life. Agreed it goes on in everybody's life and mine need be no exception. Anyways, the past weeks has strengthened a conviction I have had for a while now - that of the non-existence of God.

I come from a pretty devout Catholic family. In the chance that my mother reads this she may consider it blasphemy but then I guess by now am entitled to my own opinion. After I came to an age where I could reason for myself, I kept wondering, how is it possible to have a God, whom we all turn to as the supreme being and saviour, but who lets a number of injustices take place. When we say "what goes around, comes around" what could an infant with leukaemia possibly have done wrong to deserve to be born with the illness, only to suffer and die in a short life span. Why do battered housewives suffer the wrath of their deranged husbands for no fault of theirs? Why are innocent animals prey to human atrocities. 

If one were to say that a balance has to be struck and hence the polar opposites are in existence, then why do people who have been wronged, go to their graves without seeing justice being served. If there was one God, would he/she have propogated multiple religions, all in the name of which politics is played and people are segregated. If the one God preached the equality of men, would there be a heirarchy in every religion, would there be a caste system, would there be bloodshed? Of course, you may say religion is man-made. If God truly existed, would'nt he have ensured that there was no difference in the way people percieved him.  

We have been conditioned from childhood to attribute the occurrence of all good things to God and to leave the solution to all problems to him. But from what I have seen, it is only when you apply your reasoning to a situation, will you come up with a solution to what is bugging you. I don't really see God's role in this. Of course, you could consider your prayers a way of finding hope and maybe even as means of using God as a sounding board. But honestly how many times have your problems been solved thanks to divine intervention and how many times because of a stand that you have decided to take on the matter. 

I think we all have an equal amount of good and bad in us. It is just up to us and the person we are, to see which of the two determines the human that we become and the lives that we live. 

Confidence, arrogance or indifference??

The elections are on... and though I did not get around to getting my voter's card (I have promised myself that I will get it done this year for sure), though I have been diligently trying to follow the elections. I haven't been as consistent as I would have liked to be. After the elections began however, I had a chance to read a comparison of manifestos of some of the major contenders in the elections. While the ideas  seemed quite noble, the age old question of how much of this really gets implemented at the ground level, crops up.

The categories under which these manifestos are compared are infrastructure, jobs, foreign relations, agriculture, security and taxes. Of course, these categories form the bastions of any developing country. In terms of infrastructure, The Congress claims that it will spread the fruits of the IT revolution to every village and ensure that entrepreneurship will be encouraged. The BJP talks of the providing roads to the remotest of villages. My entire issue lies in the implementation of these grand plans. If for the past half century or so of independence, our leaders couldn't give us decent roads, what is going to change now? Are they going to get rid of the babus in between who make money on passing infrastructure tenders to companies that further misuse funds allotted for projects? How are they going to ensure that the middleman does not take away what is due to the public?

Both parties talk of reversing unemployment trends, scholarships for deserving students of govt recognised institutions and the like. After 5o odd years, you still have a sizable population that hasn't seen the inside of a school. When the govt run mid day meal scheme can result in food poisoning of children, when so called govt school teachers indulge in capital punishment as a sport, when children are tortured in the name of discipline by unscrupulous teachers, where exactly does the scholarship help?

In terms of foreign relations - one party thinks its scores higher thanks to the nuke deal, while the other gloats on the fact that its so called agenda when it comes to dealing with Pakistan is unique. Come on - the nuke deal can be called a success when the benefits peter down to the population and when our scientific intelligensia are allowed to work for our benefit and not that of the American banner. And as far as dealing with Pakistan is concerned, our bumbling lawyers of Kasab are ample testimony to how seriously we take our neighbour. While we live in the illusion that since are geographically the bigger country, the harm Pakistan can impact on us is not a bad as what we can do to them. Why don't you ministers and wannabe ministers get off your high horses and talk to the victims of Pakistani-backed blasts.

Agriculture - while we are supposed to be an agrarian country, we have had more farmer deaths than ever before. Wiping out farmer debt does not ensure a good crop, getting a good crop does not ensure that the sale of the crop will benefit the farmer, selling the crop this time does not ensure that the farmer will actually make enough to tide him over calamities such as droughts, floods and so much more. Have any of the ministers actually gone and checked the quality of the grain that is given to the farmers in the name of subsidy and to help them tide over?

Security of the aam aadmi - Bring in POTA, recruit and train more troops, bring in specialised technology and weaponry. All good. Suffice to say this -  remove Z category security from those guys who deserve to be shot and you will have a huge enough battalion of able bodied men. 

Taxes - Ingenious ways to reduce the taxation burden for the common man - have you also a plan in place to save the money that we lose when we - pay bribes for something as insignificant as a death certificate, the donations for college and school seats that are supposed to be on merit, over pricing of goods and so much more. And the BJP talks of bringing back the crores of black money that are locked away in Swiss Accounts. What!!?? all you politicians are planning on closing yours and your acquaintances accounts and moving to India?

I have only compared two of the main manifestos and the others are no different when it comes to promises. But all of what is mentioned in these manifestos are things that should be have happened decades ago. After all we have had enough of time since independence. The basis should have been laid and manifestos of today should have been concentrating on improving on the basics with technology. But no, election after election we see the same set of goals to be achieved. If you couldn't achieve this till today - what makes you so confident of achieving it now.

Arsenal of the gutless

Battles can be of many kinds - physical, mental, verbal and even imagined. But with the advent of social networking sites, battles seem to be of a new kind. Taglines are a feature that are found on almost every email id and social networking site that you may be a member. You can let the world know how you are feeling at the moment, what you are doing, why you are doing and a whole load more. 

While a lot of witty things do find their way into people's taglines, many of them also use their tagline facility to spew venom at others. While the reciever's name may not always feature in the tagline, it is pretty much clear to both the parties involved on what is meant for whom.

I once got a call from a friend who asked me "what in the world did you do to so-and-so person". He was referring to someone I hadn't spoken to in more than a year!!! After a while I realised he was talking of person who was actually placed quite far from my periphery of even acquaintances. The said person and I had a few common friends and that was it. Her tagline for the day read "Shut up Ruth!!". I was sure I was not the Ruth in question, but that did not stop all our mutual friends from calling me up that day. 

I have often noticed that taglines have now become a forum where people say things that would not be able or rather don't have the guts to say to another. Its the safest way of hiding behind the anonymity of the web. These are the same people, if you meet face to face will wax eloquent but will not come to the point. 

While the anonymity of the web has been well debated, this is just another means that has been added to the arsenal of the gutless. Coming out and saying your thing is so not the in-thing for many.

Confused custodians

Let me see now. Here are a couple of things

1) We are at a signal, all of traffic following rules to the T. All of a sudden, a jeep careens past and takes a U turn at a point where U turns are not allowed. Who were in the jeep? Cops

2) A recently held farm house party was 'busted'. Around a 100 youngsters were put behind bars. In the end, it was proved that neither was there excessive liquor, nor were there drugs, nor were any obscene acts being carried out. But today's paper says the cops who spearheaded the operation are to go scot-free.

3) An RTI activist who was recently found dead, a fudged autopsy report covered up the incident as being an accident and it came to light that it was actually murder and the fudging was thanks to the cops.

4) A police officer was replaced because he has an allegation of kidnapping against him.

5) Of course there are also numerous reports of police personnal and their illegal dealings, rapes, murders, bribery, extortion, brutality and more.

All this is like the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the police department. Not to say that there are no diligent officers and those who would really lay down their lives for the cause of protecting people. But the sad part is that the bad deeds of their counterparts always negate the good acts. The good acts are just not enough to restore the people's confidence. When the talk of election is on it would be prudent to see that the nexus between the politicians and the police department are totally severed. It is a honour to be in uniform, its about time the guys in the police department actually start being worthy of it. 

The criteria to get and and more importantly to stay in the police department need to be more rigid and implemented well.

Warped ideologies

Moral policing - the term itself sounds incongruous to me. I mean, we have our parents and our teachers to teach us about morality and how to live our lives according to the norms of society. More often than not it is life itself that teaches us how to behave. So where then, does the moral police fit it. They assume no role in our lives other than being total strangers. They are almost always society's rejects. Then how is it that the assume on themselves the mantle of protecting societal norms, when they themselves have never followed society's dictats.

Moral police aside, an already morally retarded police force is also taking on the role of moral policing. Why don't they just stick to what they are good at - corruption and incompetence. What really got my goat was a small article in a leading newspaper which spoke of how members of a women's NGO and the local police, stalked a couple having an extra marital affair and then dragged each one to their respective homes. While the woman was told to look after her children, the man was told to be there for his wife who was pregnant. 

Okay! and then what - they turned their backs and walked off - do they feel they have done the morally right thing? I don't condone extra-marital affairs, but I also believe in, to each his own, what goes around comes around. Where are these moral police when couples in love are separated and forced to marry against their wills. Is that moral? Where are they when unwilling partner in a marriage takes out frustration on the helpless spouse, who will not have a clue why they are at the recieving end of such rage. Where is the morality in living false lives?

After creating a public tamasha of sorts with regards to the said couple do you honestly think they their family life will be normal again? Would you forgive an erring spouse who has been publicly caught? What will go through the mind of the pregnant wife whose husband was dragged back by the moral police. Her sorrow is now public debate, something she could do without, in her delicate situation. 

In a male-dominated society, do you think the woman would be forgiven by her family and allowed to live a normal life? The said NGO and the police think they have done their moral duty to society by trying to restore peace to two families. What they have unleashed instead is a lifetime of misery for 4 adults and for their children. I mean don't NGOs and police have better work than stalking couples? Isn't stalking a crime?

If this is people's idea of doing good for society, the possibilities are infinite when it comes to the constantly growing lopsided moral brigands.

Fevered election campaigns

I haven't really been following the election run up. Hell! who am I fooling, I have never followed the elections. I am content keeping abreast of the winners, and then joining the teeming millions in abusing them for the rest of their terms. 

This year I noticed something new in the election campaign. Or maybe I have been exposed to it for the first time. I have been on the receiving end of a barrage of election campaign SMses with promises to bring the stars of galaxies we are yet to discover to earth. Besides that, I am also getting messages from a host of people (well known I guess in political circles) pledging their allegience to respective  parties and urging me to do so as well. 

Every medium worth its salt is engaged in dissecting candidates and predicting results. The final show however, in case I need to remind everyone, is run by us the common people. For years now we have been satisfied or rather disinterested with our lot. 

Recently our roads were tarred, open drainages are being close, road lights are being fixed... and all of us are standing around saying, "OH, the elections are round the corner." We have the political class down on their knees begging for voters to come forward and vote. But the process of getting an election id is as herculean as rising from the dead. No wonder a huge number (and I will shamelessly admit that I am included) refrain from making an election id. The last time I did have one, my name and gender was all wrong, despite me filling in details myself!!!

The elections will come and go, the tarred roads will be riddled with potholes again, corruption will get a new face and we will still be satisfied with our lot. There is no point in preaching that one should rise up... power lies in the working class and all that jazz. Bringing a political turnaround has to come from a collective mindset. A mindset that we are lightyears away from. 

The vicious cycle of brain drain, a minority educated class, a goonda raj in power are all reasons why we as a country fail to move ahead. Despite all the misery this country has faced, our walls of immunity seem to be impregnable. What else can possibly happen to motivate the Indian psyche to think beyond themselves and about the greater good. 

Is our life so miserable that we are forced to think of nothing else. Or do we consider ourselves so sheltered, that the word can pass us by without us having to bother. 

The expected and the unexpected

Its been a week since I blogged. And though I told myself that I would try and blog every day I am at least happy that I am doing once a week. My husband was actually surprised the other day when I told him that I did make a post every week...
Anyways work has kept me busy and so has a holiday in Goa. We are just back and I must say... blistering weather or not, we had a blast. It has been one week where I have been completely cut off from the world. No TV news, no newspapers, no gossip with the neighbours on whats happening in the world or around us. In fact no new information at all.
When I came back I thought I would feel a lacuna in terms of catching up with the world. But you know what, nothing has changed... Pakistan is ready to implode, our own leaders are still working hard at the circus called election run up, polarisation of communities is getting more acute and all the dailies tribulations of corruption, lawlessness and poverty are going on their on sweet paths.
So did I really miss anything. I dont think so... Like a friend loves to say "Same old shit, new day".
But enough of lamenting the hopelessness of the world. This trip of mine opened new perspectives for me in terms of holidaying. It was a trip to Goa with a two-year old. What I did expect was a lot of tantrums and crying thanks to being tired or hot. But no... my little angel rocked. She made friends easily, she danced on a boat cruise, she kicked off her shoes and ran on the sand, she jumped into the pool with her dad, began howling her head off and then slowly decided that "hey, this ain't so bad after all".
Of course this Goa trip wasn't what everyone would expect it to be... thanks to anoushka ( and I mean this in a positive way), we drank, but did not drink ourselves silly, we went sightseeing but spent a bomb on an AC taxi for her. We learnt new tricks to beat the heat. We visited new restaurants that turned out to be mind-blowing, all in a bid to keep her happy. And you know what, we ended up having a blast. It has also given me inspiration to start a new blog... on restaurants we visit. Sudhakar and me love to eat and experiment and so very soon, I will have a new blog. All about the restaurants we eat in.

I earned it... its mine

I belong to the unfortunate class of people in this country. The one called the salaried class. We are the ones' who bear the brunt of what the end of the financial year brings - Income Tax. It would have been one thing if the system of taxation made sense and there was no way of escaping it. If everyone paid it, without exemption, then I would feel a bit justified. But of course its only the salaried people coz your bank statement is going to reflect a salary.
Another consolation would have been is that even if I was among the unlucky ones who do pay the government a tax, seeing it put to good use would have made me feel better. But I still live in a rented house, the roads can put the moon surface to shame, the country reeks of corruption. I have to shell out for everything from a ration card to a voter's id card ...
Every year I end up blocking or losing large chunks of MY hardearned money either in a bid to save MY money or as a penalty pay a government who does diddly squat for me.
I would like to be a good citizen, but I honestly don't see why the onus of paying for infrastructure and the like (which is actually the government's responsibility to give ) is only on us the salaried class. How many crores of rupees get laundered in the portals of this country more so in the hallowed bastions of those upholders of the law.
Its more like they can't be satisfied. Not only do these politicians make more than they should be... but they also end up pocketing our hard earned money. Where else could it possibly go if it is not being put to good use.
And these same guys have the audacity to come back to us to look for our votes to put them back at the recieving end of these endless cash drops.

When the past comes haunting

I have had my fair share of bad relationships. In fact some of the sagas would make pretty good scripts for the reigning soap opera factory queen of our country. But jokes apart, when it comes to friends there are times when you feel you should do something to narrow the rift.
You should set aside the reasons that caused the rift, even if they were heartbreaking and try and salvage a relationship. I did try that recently with a friendship. And you know the sad part - I failed. All those reasons seem to have been just locked away by both of us in the hope that probably we would not feel it.
But the history is there and for some reasons bygones just cant seem to remain bygones. What I feel right now is a mixed bag of emotions. I feel sad that I failed at a friendship, I feel angry that the other side just can't see my point of view, Am happy that I finally will be putting this relationship in the past.

Greener pastures are calling!!!

Sudhakar and I have been mulling about moving out of the country. More so for the sake of our daughter. Its not that we need to make more money... we have enough of it thank you... Its just that this place seems to be to scary to live in anymore.
I keep wondering what will happen when my daughter hits her teenage. I would be scared to send her to a friend's party. Forget the moral police, the regular men in khakhi have taken it on themselves to be custodians of the elusive Indian culture. In Bangalore, the Indian culture is given a further narrow meaning with "Kannadiga culture".
I mean
1) Speak the local lingo or else auto drivers take you for a ride and cops don't register your complaint. A pre-dominantly Kannadiga office can get pretty uncomfortable.
2) Its wrong for women to wear western clothes since anything that comes to knee length is considered "scantily dressed". What will it be next - saree blouses that cover stomachs and salwar kameezes instead of school skirts?
3) Western music is bad... it should always be Kannada music - Then why in the world is Sandalwood's top most music director Guru Kiran obsessed with adding English lyrics to his songs? What classification do those come under?

There is no safety in this place, neither is there freedom of individual choice. Heck, I am even being told what to wear and whether to celebrate a party or not. If social work is what is on the minds of these people, I can give you guys a lot better things to burn your energies after. For the cops the best advice would be to try and do your jobs correctly. Stop turning the blind eye. Seriously kick butt when it comes to offenders. And leave us and our families alone. What they need protection from is from the likes of people like you.

For all those obsessing about "culture". Get out of those denim wear and then talk. Stop wearing branded exports... stop ogling at girls in western wear, remember your sisters and mothers in salwars too are not safe. Lust, you see, doesn't really bother about clothing. Stop aiming for jobs in MNCs, that is as western as it gets. Stop haunting all the coffee, burger and drinking joints. They are all a western influence. Hell! stop taking allopathic medicine and get back to basics - Ayurveda. Practice what you preach - it kinda helps set an example the good way.

Defending the offenders

My husband is a musician, a percussionist to be precise. He has played at several shows, big and small. There are several forums in the city that provide a free platform to budding musicians to perform and several times Sudhakar has gone there to perform with his band. As with all public functions, the organisers of such shows, always obtain necessary legal and police clearance. But you know, without fail almost everytime, the cops have shown up at these shows and tried to close it down.
1) A 4 pm in the evening on Sunday afternoon, a show was held at the Indira Gandhi park. Permissions in place the show began. But the cops came demanding that the show be shut down - Why??? because the sound was reaching right up to the Court House!!! Get real you defenders of the law. In our country, have you ever heard of the courts functioning on a Sunday??
2) A day before Rajyotsava last year. Garuda Mall had organised for three bands to play on their premises. No sooner had the first Gospel band finished their part, the Ashoknagar cops came and confiscated the speakers. Why? - Because a day before Rajyotsava you should play Kannada songs!!!

Other lame excuses have been that the decibel levels of the shows are too high. Hmmm then here are few questions I would like to ask
- Every year during Ganesh Chaturthi, we have so called "Friends Groups" organising festivities. All these are smack in the middle of residential areas. The megaphones are fitted to the residential buildings themselves and the racket goes on till 12.30 - 1.00 am. First of all its illegal to have these functions in residential areas. Secondly the decibal levels are enough to rouse the dead. Where are you defenders of the law force then?

- Fireworks of a certain decibal are banned. Yet during festivities, the only sound you will hear are of such fireworks that could have the life force of tree trunk stop. What are you people then? when my daughter jumps in fright in her sleep thanks to all the racket at night, where are you oh! defenders of the lost cause.

The legal system has clearly defined your duties for you, yet you go about searching for something new to add to your portfolio. Why don't you men in uniform first do what you are supposed to and then go hunting for new crimes to solve?

Slumdog is not an Indian film

Just after Slumdog Millionaire swept the Oscars today, a friend and I got into a debate on whether the movie won solely because it had a "gora" at the helm of affairs. While my friend believed that it had all to do with the colour of one's skin, I begged to differ. If it had to do with whether your skin was the right shade, A R Rahman did not stand a chance for 2 Oscars he won, neither would Resul Pookutty have been so lucky.
I still have a slight problem with the movie being called an Indian movie. It was neither produced nor directed by an Indian. Sure, the far-from-the-limelight co-director is Indian and so is the theme of the movie and so is a majority of the cast, but then so was Richard Attenborough's Gandhi. Now that isn't being called an Indian film.
Manoj Night Shyamalan's Sixth Sense is not an Indian movie despite being directed by an NRI, neither was Shekar Kapur's Elizabeth movies. So why then are we vying for the Indian tag for a movie that was written by an Indian but which took a firang to make. Moreover, the film has not been nominated in the "Best Foreign Film Category", but rather in the other popular categories.
Make no mistake, am over the moon about us finally being recognised on the international arena. But then this could have happened years ago had we had a board that could decide on a movie that truly represented what Indian cinema was about. While Tare Zameen Par was an excellent movie by Indian standards, its subject line was something the rest of the world dealt with in the 60s and 70s. So in all probability they must have thought we were retards who had not understood the intricacies of a learning disorder.
We have a board that sends only Hindi films and that too crocks of poop like Eklavya and Paheli, all in the name of representing Indian culture. So now when a movie like Slumdog Millionaire has a kid literally jump into a crock of poop, we automatically claim the movie for our own. What happened to all the culture worshippers now...
We need to stop trying to ride on the success of foreigners. We are making films that are better than a Slumdog Millionaire. It is our own people who prevent it from being showcased on the international arena.
But through it all I truly applaud A R Rahman. He has done the country proud and finally put us on the international cinematic map.

The Indian traveller

I am sure that there are a multitude of Indians for whom globetrotting is like a second skin. These people are the polished ones, who represent our country and our culture really well. These are the people who have an intelligent repartee to those set of foreigners who actually ask us "where we park our elephants?" (Believe it or not, my friend who freelanced as a tour guide for visitors from cruise ships was actually asked this question).
But unfortunately these guys are just a drop in the ocean. They form part of a minute fraction of Indians who actually know to conduct themselves on the foreign arena. Here is a sample of the kind that really represent us.

A young newly married couple (no it doesn't matter whether they were north or south Indians) came to the reception of the hotel I was staying at. The man bellows for a room and was informed that he would have to put down a deposit. To which the man takes a 100 USD note and flings it onto the receptionist. He then asks what comes "Free" with the room. As it goes breakfast and cocktails are free for the room he has rented. Since it was evening the man thought that it be pertinent he ask for something in place of breakfast since he had already missed it.

So the receptionist replies sweetly that the water in the room and the sachets of tea and coffee were complimentary. Next the man asks for a room with "a good scenery" since the couple was just back from Bali and the view he got was bad for a price that was too high.

Its sad that such uncouth people actually represent our country in this manner. We went to a massage parlour and the owner by way of conversation said that most of the Indians walked into his parlour and the first thing they asked for was discount. And they never ever thanked the staff for their courtesy. When it comes to Indian shoppers, the first word on the tips of their tongues are "discounts". I mean if you are walking into a store that is already selling you stuff at a 10 per cent discount, what more do you want. We need to understand that street shopping is in designated places in foreign countries, not in the big stores where fixed prices are exactly that - fixed.

Another friend was also talking about how difficult it is for an Indian coming to Singapore to rent a flat. He says the best way to do this is to go through an Indian agent, who will find you a flat that is owned by an Indian. A Singaporean will almost never rent out a flat to an Indian simply because we don't know how to maintain it.

The impressions we make on the international front are really pathetic and the sad part is that it reflects badly on the small minority that do know how to conduct themselves

Mourning our loss of potential

Am now back in Bangalore after a week in Singapore. I went there once before when I was kid (hehehe, will not specify how many years ago. I don't want to feel old). Of course there are many of you out there who have travelled much more than I have, but then hey!!! this is my blog and so I get to say what I want right?
No point in raving about the cleanliness of the place or the fact that even the trees on avenues seemed to have some order to the way they are placed. What really amazed me for one is the traffic sense of the country. Not once, throughout my stay there did I see a single traffic cop. The roads are manned completely by signals and not once.... and I mean it... not once did I see a person speed past a red light or move onto the pedestrian crossing when the light for the walkers was green.
What amazed me even more was the fact that even if there was a free left which allowed vehicles right of way, they would stop in a line to let the pedestrians cross. You could literally close your eyes and walk when you see the green light and know for sure that you will not end up in pieces on God's lap.
The roads don't have a single pothole (but then I guess the craters of the moon are an Indian road side specialty). And you can actually get fined for going at a lower speed (there its around 80 mph) in most places. You can cover a distance of 10 kms in as many minutes. The public transportation in terms of the bus, MRT and the taxi service is not only cheap, it is also reliable, thus reducing the need to own a vehicle.
This in turn has reduced vehicular traffic and thereby pollution, traffic jams, road rage and so much. And all this is because, the tax rates are high and you know that they are being used for the betterment of the people. In our country all we know is that most of the taxes go in lining the pockets of our leaders.
My colleagues and I were constantly discussing the fact that our country will most probably never see this kind of progress, simply because they say the problem is too deep rooted and the population too vast. But all it takes is for each person to feel that they should do they duty to the country. Following simple habits can lead to a larger change. As utopic as it sounds, I feel that each state has a likelihood of being like Singapore. While the planning can take place at the central level, the execution should take place at the state. The underlining factor should however be that the political honchos should start doing it for the people.

Am coming home !!!!

I haven't been on my blog for a week simply because I have been in Singapore, lugging around a laptop after having left the charger back home. Yes intelligent tinged with the utmost sarcasm is the same thing that crossed my mind. But now I am at a friend's place, on the last day in town and I finally have access to the Net.
What will follow in the blog for the next couple of posts will be what I call the Singapore Jaunt series. I am not really going to rave about how beautiful or pristine the set up here is but rather I want to draw attention to the simple ways in which out spectacular country would actually improve - be it in traffic management, pollution control, respect for people, freedom in its true sense and so much more. I look forward to writing them and I hope you agree with the points I have to make.

The all-knowing aunt!!!

The All-Knowing Aunt (AKA) can be captured best at family weddings. Right from the time I have been able to understand a part of the intricacies of a wedding, I have noticed that it is not the father and mother of the bride who will be at the helm of affairs. Rather it is this AKA who will be bellowing orders, putting people in place, telling one and all how the ceremony should be conducted (sometimes she even tells off the priests involved). She is the one who knows the exact way in which the pallu of the saree has to be draped, how many flowers right down to the petal have to be on the garland or in the hair of the bride.
So much does the AKA assume power that almost everyone in the family too looks up to her for advice on even the smallest of issues. And God forbid you decide to cross paths with the AKA... you are in for a whole range of scowls, disapproving chuckles, I-told-you-so looks and more.
If you are among those who haven't yet encountered the AKA here are ways to spot her at the next family wedding.
1) She will be in a saree that is several notches grander than the mother of the bride
2) She will be the one who is frantically waving to waiters/priests/food bearers and even the couple themselves.
3) She will be the one hovering close to the pandal/dias holding trays of flowers/rice/gifted envelopes.
4) She will be the one who tries to get into all the photos
5) She is the one you will spot all over the wedding hall. It reaches a point that no matter where you look, she will be there.

Are we really regressing?

In all the brouhaha that surrounds the Mangalore pub incident and the moral policing that seems to have our country in its grips, I wish to digress a bit. We all keep talking about how, with such incidents we are going back to the stone ages and are becoming neanderthals all over again. But if you really go back in time, you will see that women actually had much more freedom back then, than they do now.
Sure you would counter it by saying that Indian society was not that liberal. But then think about it, even if women were kept in seclusion, it was because they were respected for being women, not because people were scared that they would spoil the sanctity of society or breech the line of male perverseness. This was on the royal front.
On the more local fronts, the status of homemakers was a hallowed one - now being a housewife is equated with being dumb and not having much else to your credit. In the days of the Raj - men and women did socialise together, they did enjoy a drink or two together. Inter-religious alliances though not commonplace were not really frowned upon.
So can we possibly say that our society is going back in time. Its actually entering a phase that we have never seen before. Mentalities seem to have shrunk to very narrow proportions. The perverted minority seem to have a stronger hold than the educated minority simply because we have a majority who sit on the fence when it comes to taking a stand.

Twisted morality

Valentine's day is not in Indian or rather the SRS version of the Indian culture. Since the members of the "hallowed" and hollow organisation has not really seen the world beyond their dirt-ridden front doorsteps, we could grant them the ignorance of knowing that the world has evolved a great deal since the stone ages.
What I would really like to know is if the SRS is trying to state that Hindu culture actually represents the whole of the "Indian" culture. The last time I checked, my Christian culture was a whole lot different and I am sure so is that of the several communities that form a democratic India. And we all have been living quite happily thank you very much.
Let me try and talk in your language... and no offence to any of my friends.
I am a Christian from Mangalore married to a Brahmin Konkana from Kerala. I respect both religions equally and completely. When I got married I put mehendi on my hands which is essentially a muslim custom, largely used in North India. I am sure there is not one Hindu wedding that does not have mehendi as part of their ceremony. That's not part of your culture - you want to stop that?.
Some of the top colleges in India belong to Christian outfits.... why do your Hindu brethren fall over themselves to get admissions here. Can't you cater to their needs?
Take some of the hospitals too... Why do you want treatment at hospitals that are not promoted by those that follow the "Indian" culture.
If you are worried about the youth following Valentine's Day and getting morally corrupt why aren't you waging a war on
1) Drug peddlers whose main source of income as youngsters (many drug peddlers follow your own breed of "Indian culture"
2) Why aren't you making a noise about corruption among the police that has led to thousands of atrocities against women go unheard of ? (hell these guys are most of the time the criminals themselves)
3) Why don't you catch hold of pimps who would sell their mothers and children for a buck? (prostitution is not in any humane culture. No woman would voluntarily live such a life)

I guess since it has been proved that a majority of people who constitute such groups are illiterate and cannot hold down a decent job, they get paid by power hungry politicians to run such campaigns. At least the money is coming from somewhere for these people.
It does seems strange doesn't it that till the pub incident in Mangalore - there weren't any real raised voices about women/pubs/indian culture put together. But as soon as it happened, you had the culprits out on bail. Yeddy condemning the "plub" culture, Nirmala Venkatesh actually blaming the victims and a host of politicians waking up to the "pub culture". It looks to well orchestered.
We live in a democracy... the central government in power too has not right to dictate what I want to celebrate and what I can't. Valentine's day falls under the purview of being perfectly legal. So who in the world gave you self-righteous people the right to intrude in my life.
The fact that Muthalik has been quoted in the media saying that his members will create havoc on V-Day and nothing has happened in terms of his judicial custody just goes to show that people like Yeddy don't have a backbone. Their rule is completely dictated by anti-social elements who have their brains and their rear ends constantly forgetting their rightful places.
I hate to think what this country will be like when my daughter grows up

Circle of Life

... And the predictable has happened... the saffron brigade has got its way once again. All those goons including their leader are out on bail. Can political leanings get more transparent than this. So while those custodians of "our" culture are out plotting their next move to save us, I thought of digressing from all that is depressing.
When I was expecting Anoushka, sudhakar and I made a list of all the animation movies we wanted her to see when she got to an age where she could understand things. And so we invested in it all... Cinderella, The Jungle Book, 101 Dalmations, Pooh and Friends...
When I put the first DVD for Anoushka she looked at it for a good 5 and half seconds and then turned her little bottom in its direction and went off. I was really upset when this happened... But I did not let go.. Ever so slowly her interest levels increased.... and I noticed that it was not so much for Cinderella, than it was for her friends, Jaq and Gus who were mice!!!!
In The Jungle Book, she was in love with Baloo the Bear and his antics and Kaa the snake and an absolute disciple of Colonel Haathi the elephant.
When I told mom this she told me that not too many years ago, these were the very same animation movies that I loved to watch day in and out (on VHS of course, I come from that era) and the funny part was that I loved those movies for exactly the same reasons. I loved it when people fell or made funny sounds and now all these years later.. it feels great to see my daughter love exactly the same things.
When I see her laughing for all those kiddie cute scenes, I feel well very nostalgic and very happy...

Yeddy, steady, get lost!!!

Am still not sure what Yeddy said the other day... Was it pub culture or 'plub' culture that he was planning on doing away with? Now drinking is against "our" culture... so let me see... Drinking in a pub is not in our culture, the youngsters are badly influenced and the women are corrupted, so the solution, lets shut down all pubs. Sure by all means go ahead.. shut them down.

But let me ask you this... are you also going to shut down the thousands of liquor shops across the state. They sell alcohol too... a huge section of the population, young and old also are customers here. They drink themselves silly and are an equal menace... Youngsters drink here too and perpetrate their 'crimes'. Why just youngsters, alcoholics of all shapes, sizes and ages are customers and unleash themselves on their family and society. Aren't they all against 'your' culture? Yeddy why don't you make Karnataka a dry state.... let's see how 500 crore out of your exchequer affects the corrupt lifestyle of your kind.
And another point just came to mind --- Girls going to pubs are against our culture... this at a time when the central government actually consented to women bar tenders!!!! Didn't you guys get the memo or what???
Goons such as the SRS molest girls in the name of saving their dignity and they do so knowing that they have your blessings. You should be ashamed of actually standing up and taking their side. Before you pass such ridiculous statements and back such absurd lunatics such as Gehlot and Muthalik, why don't you run a dipstick survey. Run it by your family... in case you haven't noticed, they don't stand by your sentiments. And they have actually gone public with that!!!!!
http://www.indianexpress.com/news/karnataka-cm-says-he-wont-allow-pub-culture-his-daughter-disagrees/416853/

The eternal approval seekers!!!

When an issue gets my goat, I often tend to have verbal diarrhoea. So I have made an effort to write on a something other than the Mangalore episode that caught my attention last night. But as a prelude, here is something that was told to me quite a few years ago. Ask a child of any nationality which is the greatest country in the world and the child would answer with the name of his own country. But ask an Indian child the same question and 9 out 10 would answer - America. As a nation we have always been obsessed with the "Big Brother" nation and its opinion about us. No matter what, we always try to remain in their good books, this despite being a larger democracy population-wise.
Anyways coming to the point that really got me thinking.
I was reading the Barack Obama edition of India Today. The intro to the story actually carried a line that goes like this. .... "becoming possibly the first American President to mention 'Hindu' in an inaugural speech..."
This really got me wondering what the context was all about and so I got a transcript of the speech online to see. And the line goes thus ... "We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus, and nonbelievers." - Now what in the world is so extraordinary about this. Are we so starved for attention that one inane reference in a presidential speech actually warrants a mention in a magazine of such calibre. Its almost as if our nation achieved demi-god status with Barack Obama's speech.
At the same time, a news channel made a huge hue and cry about the fact that A R Rahman's Slumdog Millionaire jackpot song 'Jai Ho' was used on an international ramp during a fashion show. Granted that A R Rahman deserves all the credit but come on guys, this is not the first time Indian music has been used internationally and will most certainly not be the last. The international world has had a taste of India for years now... right from firangs turning to India for moksha, to Indian motifs being displayed on clothes and bodies, to yoga, to ..... the list goes on.
Of course there are several more such cases. Why do we still feel the need to prove ourselves internationally and try and ride out on really silly international recognition. Why can't we display the attitude that comes with being a success internationally with class, rather than behave as we are being done a favour.

What culture are we talking about?

Politics has never interested me, primarily because we have a bunch of illiterate goons, with money and muscle power who always seem to be able to get the votes their way. Yes I do belong to the category of people who don't vote at all out of disgust. I don't because I don't see how it makes a difference. Despite what happened in Gujarat, Modi is still the CM. If opinions did come into play, I don't see how he could have won with a majority.
The pub incident in Mangalore has now become a political game. All of a sudden you have our so-called leaders from across parties saying that pubs and now malls are bad and against our culture. If that was so, how come so many of you and your ilk have invested all your black money into them? Why are you and your families seen shopping and dining there. Why are your children getting drunk at these places, running over people and then getting away scot-free?
If drinking is against your "culture" why do you organise dance shows and distribute free liquor in the hope of securing votes from the lower classes. Aren't you ruining culture then?
When you get your daughters married off, why buy designer wear from malls and abroad? Why have their birthday bashes in 5-star hotels? Where the hell is your FRIGGING culture then?
Today its pubs and malls where "boys and girls hold hands"... (sic) Gehlot. Tommorrow, watching movies is bad, riding a bike together is bad influence, co-ed schools breed illicit relations and then what, you guys planning on making us carry identification as to what relations we have with the men we are with? If I want to hold my boyfriend's or my husband's hand, that is my wish. Am not making out in public and am open about my relationship, which is more than anyone can say about people like the "moral police". Custodians of culture by daylight and hell's scum by night. Don't you guys see, moral policing is not a legitimate career option.. why can't you think of something more befitting for your kind.
It public knowledge how many of the political "fraternity" have dozens of mistresses, how many brothels you visit... how many drunken parties you people have... where is your "FRIGGING" culture then?
Plain and simple how many politicians and so called members of the moral police do you know are teetotallers and brahmacharis. Hell! these are the guys that can get the best of alcohol served to them in jail.

Forerunners in misguiding youth

Pramod Muthalik, national president of the Rashtriya Hindu Sena feels that the girls of today are misguided and it is the responsibility of groups like his to make sure they are brought on track.
Hmmm.. when did you become the father of every girl who decides to lead her life the way she wants. What culture are you talking about when all the hooligans in your group are uneducated, have track records in eve teasing, are the first guys to try and get into pubs, have absolutely no respect for their parents ( I say this based on how they treated people at the pub in Mangalore).
Imagine the heartache they would have caused their mothers who saw them on national TV. If these are the guys who are supposed to set an example on how an Indian girl should behave... I sure as hell wouldnt want them anywhere close to my children. What a bad influence.
Just as my child is my responsibility, so every child in the pub that day is the responsibility of another set of parents.
If Muthalik feels that it would have been ok to beat up his sister if she had been there... then I am surprised... does Indian culture according to you allow strange men to discipline your sibling. Is it ok in the bargain if she gets groped and mauled by a stranger.
I am from Mangalore. I have been a student there and I have been married there and I have a child who was born there. I enjoy a beer once in a while. If I had gone to the pub with my husband who according to "your culture" is like my guardian, would it be wrong then. Would your beating me up have any justification ?(not that it does).
Instead of poking your noses where it is not supposed to be... why don't you people work towards a better goal. If you are so concerned about the welfare of women, why don't you work towards making this country safer for women. Volunteer to safely take women home after a night shift, volunteer your services for better treatment of women in the home, office and social spheres, make sure women and child trafficking do not happen your respective areas. Be a group that actually has a worthwhile ideal to look up to and be known for. What do you people hope to achieve other than public disdain and animosity.
Pramod Muthalik talks of rapes and unwanted pregnancies - yes these do happen when youth are misdirected... but do you also know that majority of the rapes are almost always within the family and inflicted by people who are known to the victim. What values are you talking about in such situation... where are your culture saving moronic baboons at that time.
If you guys want to stay in the news... do something worth remembering.... if you do.. people will then actually come to you with the publicity you crave

Defenders of the lost cause - II

My home town Mangalore has been at the centre of a great deal of controversies... primary of them being communal riots. Hell breaks lose up north and here you have Mangalore stoking the fires as well. The church attacks were real upsetting and now all of a sudden you have moral policing. While I am dying to spew vitriol in this post, I will refrain since I am making a concentrated effort to clean up my language considering I have a daughter whose mind is quite like a sponge.
A pub was attacked recently by self proclaimed Sri Rama Sene activists, claiming that women drinking in public and dancing was against Indian culture. But of course for the men it was ok. Hmmm so its ok for men to drink themselves silly, possibly sleep around with the neighbour's wife in an inebrieted state, run over a few people on the way home and then expect his wife to be the picture of innocence... all because he is the male in this entire picture.
What bullshit!!!!!. Look into your own houses, you stupid, uneducated, narrow minded jerks... for all the machoisms that you people display, you guys are the first ones to eve tease a girl... irrespective of whether she is in a saree, a skirt or even a burqa... as long as its a girl, men of your nature will have their family heirlooms on constant fire.
Who made you people more worthy than women... have you forgotten the basic fact that you need us to actually exist.
Women and men of today know how to conduct themselves in a public arena. They are adults and have the god-damn freedom to drink and dance in public. If you want to practice your so-called culture, understand what it is first. Indian culture has always respected women. Having a beer on a weekend with friends, Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs, Christians, black, white, alien, what difference does it make. More important, how does it scratch your nuts?
I think I see the problem with you men. You guys are just jealous that you can't do what so many other NORMAL youngsters do at the same age. You dysfunctional morons can't get a girl to look at you, let alone go out with you and hence you take out this frustration under the garb of saving our culture.
Can't you see, you numbskulls, women would rather go out with a Muslim boy they trust to protect them from Hindu fanatics like you. No religion in the world has every dictated terms on how one should live their social lives. The bottom line has always been to lead one's life without being a burden or trouble to others. How does a group of girls and boys sharing a drink come close to troubling others. They share a normal rapport, in a public environment. Its THEIR OWN LIVES. They are minding their business, why can't you guys. You want to beat people up... catch child molestors and maul them, catch robbers who murder for a few hundred bucks, kick the politicians you back you scumbags for reducing this democratic nation to a bunch of babbling religious freaks. Do something more useful in your own families and lives. Leave those leading their lives alone. They do it with their families' blessings and don't need your misguided sense of propriety in any way.

Good at juggling??

I work from home and I still get to hear how lucky I am to be able to pursue my career and look after my baby. Well, I don't deny it, it really is true... I am among possibly the lucky few whose resume will not reflect a break barring my maternity leave. In this day and age, such a resume can work wonders for you. But I must also add for all those out there, who think this is the idyllic situation, that its not all roses.
Let's take the work situation. Being a journalist, my job demands that I remain online and accessible throughout the day. I am for most times. But then Anoushka decides to go ballistic on the days I have a lot of work to do. From her point of view it makes complete sense. Mom is at home all the time, why does she sit with the laptop, let her play with me. So you have a bawling kid, when you are speaking to a client in Singapore. Or she will need to poop just when you need to send an urgent mail. Your work schedule and its completion depends entirely on your child's routine. Her mealtimes, bath times, play times etc all have to be worked in along with a packed schedule from office. And God save you on the days that the domestic help does not turn up or on the days that your baby falls ill. And trust me they happen only when you can least afford for anything to go wrong. Whether you believe it or not there was one day, when I actually was on the phone with Mumbai, sending a mail on the laptop, feeding Anoushka a chapati and cooking a gravy for dinner all at the same time, with the laptop in the kitchen.
There are days when it can all get to you and I have just sat down, put my head in my hands and bawled my heart out.
On the work front is another scenario that you will find. The syndrome out of sight is out of mind fits here perfectly. While people remember you when there is work to be done from your department, you will not be remembered at other times. Bosses forget to appraise you with the rest, important office circulars don't get mailed to you, it is taken for granted that since you are working at home you have all the time in the world to take on bakra work and worse still, for those colleagues who don't have kids - they believe that since you work from home, you don't do anything at all. One guy even called me at 9 in the morning and asked me if he had woken me up!!!. Such indifference does hurt a lot. You tend to miss out on the social aspects of being in a work environment.
But make no mistake. Just because I do feel low at times does not mean I am not enjoying the good luck I have to see my daughter grown each day.

Defenders of the lost cause

Those who are parents will know of this situation. Put two toddlers together and you will actually see them have an entire conversation in a language that is alien. But don't you doubt for a second that the children do not understand each other or have not connected. What has allowed for this connection to happen is the unfettered and unbiased understanding that 'we are both kids and so therefore we will get along.' Not for the child the division based on language, caste, religious belief or even diet for that matter.

Its only when you get to the age of what are now referred to as mature individuals that you look down your nose at those who may not be like you. That would only explain the most idiotic events that get reported in the papers - defenders of the culture trash a cinema hall screening Kannada movies because of a border dispute with the state. You morons... how in the world does trashing a cinema affect border politics. There are government sanctioned organisations that claim to go around a save our respective cultures - how do they do that - trash anything that does not indentify with culture.
So is that what the great Indian mentality is - If it is not mine, its up for being destroyed. A friend's band was playing a gig at Garuda Mall a day before Rajyotsava. The cops came and shut it down saying that a day before Rajyotsava, you should only play Kannada songs. WHAT!!! In what way does that make me a better Kannadiga and what about a day after the event... is it ok to play English music then.
Who gives these guys the right to defend a culture that belongs to so many other people. Why destroy the name of culture in the name of defending it? Don't you people realise that you are only creating more animosity in a world that does not really need it right now? And once again, the oft asked question, what do these nitwits really know about their own culture? Who can really define culture? In which cultured society does it make sense to destroy public property, vandalise private property and physically hurt people for border politics which the government is endorsing... how thick can skulls get????

I am a part of history

As a student in school, I loved history. I always wondered if those people who made the history we know today ever realised that their actions would be so well documented and remembered - literally speaking they were making history and they may not have even been aware of it. It also got my then childish mind into wondering what it is that I could do to have my name remembered in history... hmmm you could say that I come with a lot of history... but trust me I don't think it is something that should go down in history that is publicly known.
The childish line of thinking is long over, but make no mistake, I still want to be a part of history and I have now come to the conclusion that in a way I am.
Let me explain. I belong to the generation where TV did exist, but not cable TV or DTH. With the advent of this technology and my own use of it, I now am a part of its history. Long distances phone calls did exist during my childhood time, but then mobile phones did not... with the cellular age, I too became a part of its history. I can actually tell my child that owned a cell phone that looked like a brick... she will find that historically coz by the time she uses one, it might be of some fantastical nature.
I was in Kuwait when it was invaded, I lived through 52 days of invasion and then was a part of India's largest evacution effort - an experience which definitely deserves a place in my personal history. I have lived to see the Hailey's comet make its only appearence for the next couple of generations. I was in Bangalore during the serial blasts, I identified with pain of 9/11, 26/11... of the several other atrocities that routinely get thrown in our face thanks to live TV (yet another progression during my lifetime)
I have seen so many firsts and belong to the generation that experienced them for the first time. If you work on the same logic, my parents too have been a part of a great history... I mean think of it... my dad lived at a time when his home did not have an electricity supply. There is a standard family joke that my mom's home got electricity way before my dad's home did!
So when if you have ever thought like I did on being a part of history, fret not! you are a part of it. Among the so many other things that you have invariably been a part of, you can also add that you were around when America got its first coloured (yes I know its politically incorrect) president.

Pre-journey rambles

We are leaving to Cochin today... the land of my inlaws... for whom I am an outlaw - there, got that out of my system. Have been dying to write out that totally lame excuse of a rhyme and now I have. Come to think of it... is it really a rhyme. The day today was crazy - no servant for the next week or so.. and there you had me at 7 in the morning - dishes, sweeping, swabbing, feeding and bathing anoushka, office work, last minute shopping for relatives, packing. Add to this, change the fishes water, shut down the house, squeeze a little personal grooming in, check and recheck bags. Keep everything ready to pack dinner for the train journey. Have just been able to rest my derriere and here I am typing away.

You know when I got down to packing the bags, I realised yet again, that majority of the stuff in the suitcase was Anoushka's - things in the knapsack too belonged to her. And the best part of it all was that she was totally oblivious to the fact. Home clothes, lounging clothes, outside clothes, inner wear, caps, creams, accessories, shoes. I mean we carry the same things, but somehow for children it all seems infinitely endless. I love packing, but then I would like to pack less on journeys...

What I do appreciate now is the fact that things are getting progressively lesser. I mean this is the first time I will be travelling without a tsunami rescue package style back up for food options. It feels good to know that my baby is growing up and getting independent, even if it is in these small ways. So there you have it.. my ramblings pre-journey Cochin. Will be back with more tales from God's Own Country soon. Of course there are more pressing matters over which we can write on like Damocles Sword on Satyam, the crappiness of CC2C, but all that can wait for the next post.

Live to eat!!!!

I love to eat... though looking at me one would not really say so. My fascination with food, started long past the time my mother would have liked. Even now relatives wonder whether I still have the same aversion to eating that I displayed in my first few years on earth. I guess the gastronomic bug bit me when I was in Manipal - a place where even 50 bucks ensured that you were king for the evening. Of course am not sure the same applies even now (inflation / recession / blah and blah).
Sudhakar and I would spend most of time checking out all the eating places there were on offer, a habit that continues even now. Now for most people, the ambience of a restaurant or an eatery of any sorts place makes a huge difference, but I don't think that really mattered for us... it just mattered that the food was good. Take for example the endless amount of gobi burji at Chutney Mary for 20 bucks or the heavenly chilli prawns washed down sprite at Dynasty or even the pot bellies at Shack Point (which I believe is not there any more) or even the Your Choice specials of heavenly chicken, mashed potatoes and veggies (all for 35 bucks!!!).
Chutney Mary was attached to a bar that had its share of seedy people, Dynasty had a Shanthi Saagar atmosphere to it, and Your Choice literally functioned out of a garage.
Fast forward to Bangalore - and here to am really happy that we have had a chance to experience the best of foods in the strangest of ambience - here is a recount of just some of the interesting places we have supped at, either together or individually...
Though am not a fan of ragi mudde and chicken curry, I was once taken to this seedy place in depths of Majestic bus stand which just had some tables and stools in what looked like a cow shed. Though I couldn't get the muddes down, the chicken curry was heavenly. Then there was this place close to Church Street Empire, where Chinese food was served in a car garage... literally... Sudhakar recently visited an Akada - a muslim gymkhana where the food is actually cooked by these pahalwans. He visited there on a jumma and the house special - biriyani was something he can't stop talking about.
Coming a little up market - a favorite joint is Soo Ra Sang - a Korean restaurant where we always take the King's Table - which comes complete with a grill to cook your food too. The sea food and bulgogis here are mindblowing as is the pork gravy item. Dahlia, a Japanese restaurant was another experience, which had chairs placed on a floor where your legs would dangle below...
the sushis here are the real deal. Sahib Sind Sultan in Forum... with its pre-independence train station decor has some great quail dishes and a too-kill-for Zamindari achari aloo. Gufa in Jayanagar is a complete cave with the sound effects and the 'laltains'. The food is not much to speak of but the ambience clearly unique.
There are several more places we have visited where the food has been great but then am on the topic of ambience - which I feel can help to great extent, but then if you love good food, don't look beyond your plate :)

Unsung heroes

Have been meaning to write on this for a long time now. I love the movies - thanks to my educational background, I have learnt to appreciate movies from several angles. I may not be as up to speed on the new releases as I would like to be... but then I do know what is happening about me.

What I wanted to write about was how in the glamour and glitz of it all... some actors just get overshadowed. Maybe their movies don't enjoy the bling of the SRKs and Aamir Khans... despite which their movies often turn out to be much more watchable than the OSOs and Ghajinis. Take for example Abhay Deol - recently happened to catch his Oye Lucky Lucky Oye. Many from the friends and famliy circle trashed the movie in the first five minutes. But here was a movie I thoroughly enjoyed. A small town guy who dreams of making in big and does that by being an excellent con man. Paresh Rawal plays multiple characters in this movie and that is something that has not been talked about. Whereas on the other hand you have Deepika Padukone's double role in CC2C being harped about continously. There is also Shahid Kapur, who is a fabulous dancer and has excellent comic timing. Infact Shahid was even a part of Shiamak Davar's dance troupes and in a song in Taal, you will see him as a background dancer who gets to drape a white cloth all around Aishwarya Rai. Why do we yell ourselves hoarse on Hritik's and copy cat Harman's dancing skills. Why don't we know more about Kay Kay Menon who could pull off a Hazaron Khwaishein Aisi as well as a Honeymoon Travels Pvt Ltd.

Besides these unsung fellows, you also have those who finally hit jackpot headon. For example Akshay Kumar - it took him almost 18 years in the industry before rose petals were thrown on his walkway. Now its as though everything the man touches is turning to gold. Saif Ali Khan who was trashed for his firang hairstyle and accent today stands on some of the highest bastions of Bollywood. This is after years of talent going unnoticed.

We have several media that make their livings based entirely on Bollywood. More often than not, pre release hype, movie reviews and even post release publicity harps largely on the main stars of the movie - and by this I mean purely on their physical presence in the movie. Never does one go to praise a performance. SRK has established the fact that he is a complete commercial film artiste. Not once has he attempted to take on an art film. Yet reams are written on his performance skills. I mean- give me a break.. the very same media also trashes him as a ham artiste.

Why are some movies called off beat - well simply because they and the performances they include are promoted as such. Am I trying to make a point here... not really.. what I am trying to point out is that a lot of very good performances often go unsung... there can be several valid reasons why... but bottom line... I don't like it and so I wrote about it (tongue in cheek).

Forging ties

Looks like I left my brains behind in the last year. Each day I open my blog, stare at the screen and then... systematically shut down the comp and promise myself that tommorrow I will make an entry. Oh Sure... I was warned this would happen - the mental drought. But then hey!! my blog is not meant to change the world... it was meant to be an exercise for my grey cells. And so after the 7-day vacation - here I am.
Just today I got a call from office and was told that I have to pack my bags for Singapore - this is after I am mentally preparing myself for a 3 week sojourn in Australia. I am excited sure... but then am also feeling a little bummed out.
For the past two years - since Anoushka was born - life has changed drastically. From being one who worked odd hours, to sleeping through a rock show, to one going to only late night movie shows (and not missing a single release)... overnight I was transformed to one who started working from home... one movie on DVD takes us a week to watch and sleep... hmmm I wake up if Anoushka moves in her crib.
There were days when I just wanted to get away from it all. And now I have just the chance - a week in Singapore and then 3 weeks in Australia. Career-wise a great opportunity. Is this the escape window I was looking for - you bet. But then, am already missing my baby. I am already fretting about her eating, sleeping, moods, games.... I assume I will able to sleep the night through without waking up but I know I will wake up at 3 and think of her.
As a mother still learning the ropes (I guess you never stop learning as a parent), I sometimes wondered whether my maternal instincts were intact. I mean yes... I feed, clean, bathe, soothe... but then I also get irritated, angry, impatient. I sometimes doubted my ability to be a good mother. I wondered whether Anoushka and me forged that bond everyone talks about. But then today, when I told my 2 year old "Mama is going to Singapore, mama will miss you". She turned around and said, "Mama going to Singapoooour. I will missed you... you be sad, I'll be sad... then you come back." I had my answer.