Yeddy, steady, get lost!!!

Am still not sure what Yeddy said the other day... Was it pub culture or 'plub' culture that he was planning on doing away with? Now drinking is against "our" culture... so let me see... Drinking in a pub is not in our culture, the youngsters are badly influenced and the women are corrupted, so the solution, lets shut down all pubs. Sure by all means go ahead.. shut them down.

But let me ask you this... are you also going to shut down the thousands of liquor shops across the state. They sell alcohol too... a huge section of the population, young and old also are customers here. They drink themselves silly and are an equal menace... Youngsters drink here too and perpetrate their 'crimes'. Why just youngsters, alcoholics of all shapes, sizes and ages are customers and unleash themselves on their family and society. Aren't they all against 'your' culture? Yeddy why don't you make Karnataka a dry state.... let's see how 500 crore out of your exchequer affects the corrupt lifestyle of your kind.
And another point just came to mind --- Girls going to pubs are against our culture... this at a time when the central government actually consented to women bar tenders!!!! Didn't you guys get the memo or what???
Goons such as the SRS molest girls in the name of saving their dignity and they do so knowing that they have your blessings. You should be ashamed of actually standing up and taking their side. Before you pass such ridiculous statements and back such absurd lunatics such as Gehlot and Muthalik, why don't you run a dipstick survey. Run it by your family... in case you haven't noticed, they don't stand by your sentiments. And they have actually gone public with that!!!!!
http://www.indianexpress.com/news/karnataka-cm-says-he-wont-allow-pub-culture-his-daughter-disagrees/416853/

The eternal approval seekers!!!

When an issue gets my goat, I often tend to have verbal diarrhoea. So I have made an effort to write on a something other than the Mangalore episode that caught my attention last night. But as a prelude, here is something that was told to me quite a few years ago. Ask a child of any nationality which is the greatest country in the world and the child would answer with the name of his own country. But ask an Indian child the same question and 9 out 10 would answer - America. As a nation we have always been obsessed with the "Big Brother" nation and its opinion about us. No matter what, we always try to remain in their good books, this despite being a larger democracy population-wise.
Anyways coming to the point that really got me thinking.
I was reading the Barack Obama edition of India Today. The intro to the story actually carried a line that goes like this. .... "becoming possibly the first American President to mention 'Hindu' in an inaugural speech..."
This really got me wondering what the context was all about and so I got a transcript of the speech online to see. And the line goes thus ... "We are a nation of Christians and Muslims, Jews and Hindus, and nonbelievers." - Now what in the world is so extraordinary about this. Are we so starved for attention that one inane reference in a presidential speech actually warrants a mention in a magazine of such calibre. Its almost as if our nation achieved demi-god status with Barack Obama's speech.
At the same time, a news channel made a huge hue and cry about the fact that A R Rahman's Slumdog Millionaire jackpot song 'Jai Ho' was used on an international ramp during a fashion show. Granted that A R Rahman deserves all the credit but come on guys, this is not the first time Indian music has been used internationally and will most certainly not be the last. The international world has had a taste of India for years now... right from firangs turning to India for moksha, to Indian motifs being displayed on clothes and bodies, to yoga, to ..... the list goes on.
Of course there are several more such cases. Why do we still feel the need to prove ourselves internationally and try and ride out on really silly international recognition. Why can't we display the attitude that comes with being a success internationally with class, rather than behave as we are being done a favour.

What culture are we talking about?

Politics has never interested me, primarily because we have a bunch of illiterate goons, with money and muscle power who always seem to be able to get the votes their way. Yes I do belong to the category of people who don't vote at all out of disgust. I don't because I don't see how it makes a difference. Despite what happened in Gujarat, Modi is still the CM. If opinions did come into play, I don't see how he could have won with a majority.
The pub incident in Mangalore has now become a political game. All of a sudden you have our so-called leaders from across parties saying that pubs and now malls are bad and against our culture. If that was so, how come so many of you and your ilk have invested all your black money into them? Why are you and your families seen shopping and dining there. Why are your children getting drunk at these places, running over people and then getting away scot-free?
If drinking is against your "culture" why do you organise dance shows and distribute free liquor in the hope of securing votes from the lower classes. Aren't you ruining culture then?
When you get your daughters married off, why buy designer wear from malls and abroad? Why have their birthday bashes in 5-star hotels? Where the hell is your FRIGGING culture then?
Today its pubs and malls where "boys and girls hold hands"... (sic) Gehlot. Tommorrow, watching movies is bad, riding a bike together is bad influence, co-ed schools breed illicit relations and then what, you guys planning on making us carry identification as to what relations we have with the men we are with? If I want to hold my boyfriend's or my husband's hand, that is my wish. Am not making out in public and am open about my relationship, which is more than anyone can say about people like the "moral police". Custodians of culture by daylight and hell's scum by night. Don't you guys see, moral policing is not a legitimate career option.. why can't you think of something more befitting for your kind.
It public knowledge how many of the political "fraternity" have dozens of mistresses, how many brothels you visit... how many drunken parties you people have... where is your "FRIGGING" culture then?
Plain and simple how many politicians and so called members of the moral police do you know are teetotallers and brahmacharis. Hell! these are the guys that can get the best of alcohol served to them in jail.

Forerunners in misguiding youth

Pramod Muthalik, national president of the Rashtriya Hindu Sena feels that the girls of today are misguided and it is the responsibility of groups like his to make sure they are brought on track.
Hmmm.. when did you become the father of every girl who decides to lead her life the way she wants. What culture are you talking about when all the hooligans in your group are uneducated, have track records in eve teasing, are the first guys to try and get into pubs, have absolutely no respect for their parents ( I say this based on how they treated people at the pub in Mangalore).
Imagine the heartache they would have caused their mothers who saw them on national TV. If these are the guys who are supposed to set an example on how an Indian girl should behave... I sure as hell wouldnt want them anywhere close to my children. What a bad influence.
Just as my child is my responsibility, so every child in the pub that day is the responsibility of another set of parents.
If Muthalik feels that it would have been ok to beat up his sister if she had been there... then I am surprised... does Indian culture according to you allow strange men to discipline your sibling. Is it ok in the bargain if she gets groped and mauled by a stranger.
I am from Mangalore. I have been a student there and I have been married there and I have a child who was born there. I enjoy a beer once in a while. If I had gone to the pub with my husband who according to "your culture" is like my guardian, would it be wrong then. Would your beating me up have any justification ?(not that it does).
Instead of poking your noses where it is not supposed to be... why don't you people work towards a better goal. If you are so concerned about the welfare of women, why don't you work towards making this country safer for women. Volunteer to safely take women home after a night shift, volunteer your services for better treatment of women in the home, office and social spheres, make sure women and child trafficking do not happen your respective areas. Be a group that actually has a worthwhile ideal to look up to and be known for. What do you people hope to achieve other than public disdain and animosity.
Pramod Muthalik talks of rapes and unwanted pregnancies - yes these do happen when youth are misdirected... but do you also know that majority of the rapes are almost always within the family and inflicted by people who are known to the victim. What values are you talking about in such situation... where are your culture saving moronic baboons at that time.
If you guys want to stay in the news... do something worth remembering.... if you do.. people will then actually come to you with the publicity you crave

Defenders of the lost cause - II

My home town Mangalore has been at the centre of a great deal of controversies... primary of them being communal riots. Hell breaks lose up north and here you have Mangalore stoking the fires as well. The church attacks were real upsetting and now all of a sudden you have moral policing. While I am dying to spew vitriol in this post, I will refrain since I am making a concentrated effort to clean up my language considering I have a daughter whose mind is quite like a sponge.
A pub was attacked recently by self proclaimed Sri Rama Sene activists, claiming that women drinking in public and dancing was against Indian culture. But of course for the men it was ok. Hmmm so its ok for men to drink themselves silly, possibly sleep around with the neighbour's wife in an inebrieted state, run over a few people on the way home and then expect his wife to be the picture of innocence... all because he is the male in this entire picture.
What bullshit!!!!!. Look into your own houses, you stupid, uneducated, narrow minded jerks... for all the machoisms that you people display, you guys are the first ones to eve tease a girl... irrespective of whether she is in a saree, a skirt or even a burqa... as long as its a girl, men of your nature will have their family heirlooms on constant fire.
Who made you people more worthy than women... have you forgotten the basic fact that you need us to actually exist.
Women and men of today know how to conduct themselves in a public arena. They are adults and have the god-damn freedom to drink and dance in public. If you want to practice your so-called culture, understand what it is first. Indian culture has always respected women. Having a beer on a weekend with friends, Hindus, Muslims, Sikhs, Christians, black, white, alien, what difference does it make. More important, how does it scratch your nuts?
I think I see the problem with you men. You guys are just jealous that you can't do what so many other NORMAL youngsters do at the same age. You dysfunctional morons can't get a girl to look at you, let alone go out with you and hence you take out this frustration under the garb of saving our culture.
Can't you see, you numbskulls, women would rather go out with a Muslim boy they trust to protect them from Hindu fanatics like you. No religion in the world has every dictated terms on how one should live their social lives. The bottom line has always been to lead one's life without being a burden or trouble to others. How does a group of girls and boys sharing a drink come close to troubling others. They share a normal rapport, in a public environment. Its THEIR OWN LIVES. They are minding their business, why can't you guys. You want to beat people up... catch child molestors and maul them, catch robbers who murder for a few hundred bucks, kick the politicians you back you scumbags for reducing this democratic nation to a bunch of babbling religious freaks. Do something more useful in your own families and lives. Leave those leading their lives alone. They do it with their families' blessings and don't need your misguided sense of propriety in any way.

Good at juggling??

I work from home and I still get to hear how lucky I am to be able to pursue my career and look after my baby. Well, I don't deny it, it really is true... I am among possibly the lucky few whose resume will not reflect a break barring my maternity leave. In this day and age, such a resume can work wonders for you. But I must also add for all those out there, who think this is the idyllic situation, that its not all roses.
Let's take the work situation. Being a journalist, my job demands that I remain online and accessible throughout the day. I am for most times. But then Anoushka decides to go ballistic on the days I have a lot of work to do. From her point of view it makes complete sense. Mom is at home all the time, why does she sit with the laptop, let her play with me. So you have a bawling kid, when you are speaking to a client in Singapore. Or she will need to poop just when you need to send an urgent mail. Your work schedule and its completion depends entirely on your child's routine. Her mealtimes, bath times, play times etc all have to be worked in along with a packed schedule from office. And God save you on the days that the domestic help does not turn up or on the days that your baby falls ill. And trust me they happen only when you can least afford for anything to go wrong. Whether you believe it or not there was one day, when I actually was on the phone with Mumbai, sending a mail on the laptop, feeding Anoushka a chapati and cooking a gravy for dinner all at the same time, with the laptop in the kitchen.
There are days when it can all get to you and I have just sat down, put my head in my hands and bawled my heart out.
On the work front is another scenario that you will find. The syndrome out of sight is out of mind fits here perfectly. While people remember you when there is work to be done from your department, you will not be remembered at other times. Bosses forget to appraise you with the rest, important office circulars don't get mailed to you, it is taken for granted that since you are working at home you have all the time in the world to take on bakra work and worse still, for those colleagues who don't have kids - they believe that since you work from home, you don't do anything at all. One guy even called me at 9 in the morning and asked me if he had woken me up!!!. Such indifference does hurt a lot. You tend to miss out on the social aspects of being in a work environment.
But make no mistake. Just because I do feel low at times does not mean I am not enjoying the good luck I have to see my daughter grown each day.

Defenders of the lost cause

Those who are parents will know of this situation. Put two toddlers together and you will actually see them have an entire conversation in a language that is alien. But don't you doubt for a second that the children do not understand each other or have not connected. What has allowed for this connection to happen is the unfettered and unbiased understanding that 'we are both kids and so therefore we will get along.' Not for the child the division based on language, caste, religious belief or even diet for that matter.

Its only when you get to the age of what are now referred to as mature individuals that you look down your nose at those who may not be like you. That would only explain the most idiotic events that get reported in the papers - defenders of the culture trash a cinema hall screening Kannada movies because of a border dispute with the state. You morons... how in the world does trashing a cinema affect border politics. There are government sanctioned organisations that claim to go around a save our respective cultures - how do they do that - trash anything that does not indentify with culture.
So is that what the great Indian mentality is - If it is not mine, its up for being destroyed. A friend's band was playing a gig at Garuda Mall a day before Rajyotsava. The cops came and shut it down saying that a day before Rajyotsava, you should only play Kannada songs. WHAT!!! In what way does that make me a better Kannadiga and what about a day after the event... is it ok to play English music then.
Who gives these guys the right to defend a culture that belongs to so many other people. Why destroy the name of culture in the name of defending it? Don't you people realise that you are only creating more animosity in a world that does not really need it right now? And once again, the oft asked question, what do these nitwits really know about their own culture? Who can really define culture? In which cultured society does it make sense to destroy public property, vandalise private property and physically hurt people for border politics which the government is endorsing... how thick can skulls get????

I am a part of history

As a student in school, I loved history. I always wondered if those people who made the history we know today ever realised that their actions would be so well documented and remembered - literally speaking they were making history and they may not have even been aware of it. It also got my then childish mind into wondering what it is that I could do to have my name remembered in history... hmmm you could say that I come with a lot of history... but trust me I don't think it is something that should go down in history that is publicly known.
The childish line of thinking is long over, but make no mistake, I still want to be a part of history and I have now come to the conclusion that in a way I am.
Let me explain. I belong to the generation where TV did exist, but not cable TV or DTH. With the advent of this technology and my own use of it, I now am a part of its history. Long distances phone calls did exist during my childhood time, but then mobile phones did not... with the cellular age, I too became a part of its history. I can actually tell my child that owned a cell phone that looked like a brick... she will find that historically coz by the time she uses one, it might be of some fantastical nature.
I was in Kuwait when it was invaded, I lived through 52 days of invasion and then was a part of India's largest evacution effort - an experience which definitely deserves a place in my personal history. I have lived to see the Hailey's comet make its only appearence for the next couple of generations. I was in Bangalore during the serial blasts, I identified with pain of 9/11, 26/11... of the several other atrocities that routinely get thrown in our face thanks to live TV (yet another progression during my lifetime)
I have seen so many firsts and belong to the generation that experienced them for the first time. If you work on the same logic, my parents too have been a part of a great history... I mean think of it... my dad lived at a time when his home did not have an electricity supply. There is a standard family joke that my mom's home got electricity way before my dad's home did!
So when if you have ever thought like I did on being a part of history, fret not! you are a part of it. Among the so many other things that you have invariably been a part of, you can also add that you were around when America got its first coloured (yes I know its politically incorrect) president.

Pre-journey rambles

We are leaving to Cochin today... the land of my inlaws... for whom I am an outlaw - there, got that out of my system. Have been dying to write out that totally lame excuse of a rhyme and now I have. Come to think of it... is it really a rhyme. The day today was crazy - no servant for the next week or so.. and there you had me at 7 in the morning - dishes, sweeping, swabbing, feeding and bathing anoushka, office work, last minute shopping for relatives, packing. Add to this, change the fishes water, shut down the house, squeeze a little personal grooming in, check and recheck bags. Keep everything ready to pack dinner for the train journey. Have just been able to rest my derriere and here I am typing away.

You know when I got down to packing the bags, I realised yet again, that majority of the stuff in the suitcase was Anoushka's - things in the knapsack too belonged to her. And the best part of it all was that she was totally oblivious to the fact. Home clothes, lounging clothes, outside clothes, inner wear, caps, creams, accessories, shoes. I mean we carry the same things, but somehow for children it all seems infinitely endless. I love packing, but then I would like to pack less on journeys...

What I do appreciate now is the fact that things are getting progressively lesser. I mean this is the first time I will be travelling without a tsunami rescue package style back up for food options. It feels good to know that my baby is growing up and getting independent, even if it is in these small ways. So there you have it.. my ramblings pre-journey Cochin. Will be back with more tales from God's Own Country soon. Of course there are more pressing matters over which we can write on like Damocles Sword on Satyam, the crappiness of CC2C, but all that can wait for the next post.

Live to eat!!!!

I love to eat... though looking at me one would not really say so. My fascination with food, started long past the time my mother would have liked. Even now relatives wonder whether I still have the same aversion to eating that I displayed in my first few years on earth. I guess the gastronomic bug bit me when I was in Manipal - a place where even 50 bucks ensured that you were king for the evening. Of course am not sure the same applies even now (inflation / recession / blah and blah).
Sudhakar and I would spend most of time checking out all the eating places there were on offer, a habit that continues even now. Now for most people, the ambience of a restaurant or an eatery of any sorts place makes a huge difference, but I don't think that really mattered for us... it just mattered that the food was good. Take for example the endless amount of gobi burji at Chutney Mary for 20 bucks or the heavenly chilli prawns washed down sprite at Dynasty or even the pot bellies at Shack Point (which I believe is not there any more) or even the Your Choice specials of heavenly chicken, mashed potatoes and veggies (all for 35 bucks!!!).
Chutney Mary was attached to a bar that had its share of seedy people, Dynasty had a Shanthi Saagar atmosphere to it, and Your Choice literally functioned out of a garage.
Fast forward to Bangalore - and here to am really happy that we have had a chance to experience the best of foods in the strangest of ambience - here is a recount of just some of the interesting places we have supped at, either together or individually...
Though am not a fan of ragi mudde and chicken curry, I was once taken to this seedy place in depths of Majestic bus stand which just had some tables and stools in what looked like a cow shed. Though I couldn't get the muddes down, the chicken curry was heavenly. Then there was this place close to Church Street Empire, where Chinese food was served in a car garage... literally... Sudhakar recently visited an Akada - a muslim gymkhana where the food is actually cooked by these pahalwans. He visited there on a jumma and the house special - biriyani was something he can't stop talking about.
Coming a little up market - a favorite joint is Soo Ra Sang - a Korean restaurant where we always take the King's Table - which comes complete with a grill to cook your food too. The sea food and bulgogis here are mindblowing as is the pork gravy item. Dahlia, a Japanese restaurant was another experience, which had chairs placed on a floor where your legs would dangle below...
the sushis here are the real deal. Sahib Sind Sultan in Forum... with its pre-independence train station decor has some great quail dishes and a too-kill-for Zamindari achari aloo. Gufa in Jayanagar is a complete cave with the sound effects and the 'laltains'. The food is not much to speak of but the ambience clearly unique.
There are several more places we have visited where the food has been great but then am on the topic of ambience - which I feel can help to great extent, but then if you love good food, don't look beyond your plate :)

Unsung heroes

Have been meaning to write on this for a long time now. I love the movies - thanks to my educational background, I have learnt to appreciate movies from several angles. I may not be as up to speed on the new releases as I would like to be... but then I do know what is happening about me.

What I wanted to write about was how in the glamour and glitz of it all... some actors just get overshadowed. Maybe their movies don't enjoy the bling of the SRKs and Aamir Khans... despite which their movies often turn out to be much more watchable than the OSOs and Ghajinis. Take for example Abhay Deol - recently happened to catch his Oye Lucky Lucky Oye. Many from the friends and famliy circle trashed the movie in the first five minutes. But here was a movie I thoroughly enjoyed. A small town guy who dreams of making in big and does that by being an excellent con man. Paresh Rawal plays multiple characters in this movie and that is something that has not been talked about. Whereas on the other hand you have Deepika Padukone's double role in CC2C being harped about continously. There is also Shahid Kapur, who is a fabulous dancer and has excellent comic timing. Infact Shahid was even a part of Shiamak Davar's dance troupes and in a song in Taal, you will see him as a background dancer who gets to drape a white cloth all around Aishwarya Rai. Why do we yell ourselves hoarse on Hritik's and copy cat Harman's dancing skills. Why don't we know more about Kay Kay Menon who could pull off a Hazaron Khwaishein Aisi as well as a Honeymoon Travels Pvt Ltd.

Besides these unsung fellows, you also have those who finally hit jackpot headon. For example Akshay Kumar - it took him almost 18 years in the industry before rose petals were thrown on his walkway. Now its as though everything the man touches is turning to gold. Saif Ali Khan who was trashed for his firang hairstyle and accent today stands on some of the highest bastions of Bollywood. This is after years of talent going unnoticed.

We have several media that make their livings based entirely on Bollywood. More often than not, pre release hype, movie reviews and even post release publicity harps largely on the main stars of the movie - and by this I mean purely on their physical presence in the movie. Never does one go to praise a performance. SRK has established the fact that he is a complete commercial film artiste. Not once has he attempted to take on an art film. Yet reams are written on his performance skills. I mean- give me a break.. the very same media also trashes him as a ham artiste.

Why are some movies called off beat - well simply because they and the performances they include are promoted as such. Am I trying to make a point here... not really.. what I am trying to point out is that a lot of very good performances often go unsung... there can be several valid reasons why... but bottom line... I don't like it and so I wrote about it (tongue in cheek).

Forging ties

Looks like I left my brains behind in the last year. Each day I open my blog, stare at the screen and then... systematically shut down the comp and promise myself that tommorrow I will make an entry. Oh Sure... I was warned this would happen - the mental drought. But then hey!! my blog is not meant to change the world... it was meant to be an exercise for my grey cells. And so after the 7-day vacation - here I am.
Just today I got a call from office and was told that I have to pack my bags for Singapore - this is after I am mentally preparing myself for a 3 week sojourn in Australia. I am excited sure... but then am also feeling a little bummed out.
For the past two years - since Anoushka was born - life has changed drastically. From being one who worked odd hours, to sleeping through a rock show, to one going to only late night movie shows (and not missing a single release)... overnight I was transformed to one who started working from home... one movie on DVD takes us a week to watch and sleep... hmmm I wake up if Anoushka moves in her crib.
There were days when I just wanted to get away from it all. And now I have just the chance - a week in Singapore and then 3 weeks in Australia. Career-wise a great opportunity. Is this the escape window I was looking for - you bet. But then, am already missing my baby. I am already fretting about her eating, sleeping, moods, games.... I assume I will able to sleep the night through without waking up but I know I will wake up at 3 and think of her.
As a mother still learning the ropes (I guess you never stop learning as a parent), I sometimes wondered whether my maternal instincts were intact. I mean yes... I feed, clean, bathe, soothe... but then I also get irritated, angry, impatient. I sometimes doubted my ability to be a good mother. I wondered whether Anoushka and me forged that bond everyone talks about. But then today, when I told my 2 year old "Mama is going to Singapore, mama will miss you". She turned around and said, "Mama going to Singapoooour. I will missed you... you be sad, I'll be sad... then you come back." I had my answer.

Resolute resolutions

The sun has already set on this first day of New Year. And I really wonder how fast this year is going to thunder past me. I feel as though I am caught in a vortex. My day seems to be over before I have fully woken up. I have the resolutions of the last five years at least in terms of backlog. There is so much I want to do and for the life of me, I can't seem to be able to allocate the time for it.
I was told that being organised will help you get through all the things you need to do. Prioritise, and that will help you get through all things in the time that they need to be done in. But no matter how I try, there its still so much that I want to do. I want to be able to go back to my hobby of fabric painting, I want to be able to work on the activity scrap book I started for Anoushka, I want to be to read a book in 2 days flat rather than the 2x2 months it takes me for one now.
I am not a fan of the logic that priorities change over time. True they do, but I don't like the fact that this means we have to give up a lot of what we liked doing at one point in life. And so that's why, this year, I am going to work on going back to personal basics. I will make time for all those things I put on a back burner. And this is not because I am fed up of the life I have now, its just because, these things too are a part of my life and are something that really did give me pleasure.
Here's to the year 2009... may the next 365 days go by at a a speed where I can actually remember what I accomplished.