Devil and the deep blue sea

I have had a great childhood. I was quite handful for my mom but nevertheless, I had a great childhood. Being the only child, many prefer to think that I am pampered silly. On the contrary, I was brought up to be a well behaved child. My faults were not ignored and were dealt with strictly, so yes, I have had my share of beatings, slaps and yelling sessions. I even remember once hitting a friends’ mom on the rear at his behest. I remember standing in front of my dad that evening trembling with fear and ultimately fainted before he could even start yelling at me.
Of course I remember all of this since I was at an age that I could remember. So its beyond me if I was yelled at as a toddler. I mean, I can’t possibly remember. And now as a mother of toddler, I don’t think I would hold it against them if they did. As grandparents today, I suddenly find that both my parents who are currently visiting, seem to be on a fault-finding spree. I don’t seem to be feeding her enough, I don’t let her do what she wants when she wants, I yell at her too often… they even went to the extent of saying that my baby was trembling when we yelled at her to pick up something that she had repeatedly thrown on the floor.
Both grandparents carried a tortured look for the next day… giving me guilt-tripping looks and oozing sarcasm through my child on my child rearing skills. As luck would have it, Anoushka is at her angelic best these past few days, making all the crankiness of the past weeks look like a figment of my imagination. And at times, I really wonder whether I am making it all up? Am I not a good mother… that my child seems cranky around me and cheerful around the grandparents? I do understand that there is the novelty factor involved and with me its just the monotony of being with me. But then I do my best…
So am I going wrong… am I not to discipline my child. I am not beating, neither am I harassing her through the day and denying her childish pleasures. But isn’t there somewhere I should draw the line. I mean, I am constantly lectured on how I should discipline her and then if I do, its all wrong. Anoushka is two, I don’t really see how reasoning will work at this age. So maybe a little fright should do the trick in making her understand that she has done something naughty and should not repeat it.
If my daughter was really tortured, do you think she would come near me. Would we have our mummy-baby moments. Would she still cry to sleep with me in the night? I don’t really think so. I know grandparents feel that their grandchildren are to spoil and that the disciplining is to be left to their children. But then hey… why fault me if that’s what I am trying to do. Being a full time work-from-home mother does have its trying times. Why can’t mom remember that… she was in my position too at one time in life.